The First Out-of-Office Message I’ve Ever Written

I haven’t stepped away from the keyboard in 13 years. That changes now.

Photo: Alistair Berg/Getty Images

I wrote my first article, for The Smoking Section, in early 2008. I was a senior in college. On average, I’ve written 2,000–3,000 published words a week since then. That’s 13 straight years of pitching, deadlines, late nights, and early mornings. I’ve been on…