11 Lessons From 11 Years in the Corporate World
Not everything I learned, but everything I needed to know
After six roles, two countries, three offices, eight bosses, and 11 years, I recently left my company. Along the way, I learned some lessons I wish I had known when I started.
While every organization, team, and employee is different, these lessons will help you along your professional journey and make you aware of some of the biggest pitfalls in the workplace environment.
In an order that tries to build one on top of the other, here are the lessons.
Lesson 1: All of your colleagues are people
I was asked to interview two senior executives for an internal video. I like performing, but I was becoming progressively more nervous; I had not met either of these men and imagined my professional future hinged on this moment.
Then I reminded myself that these two men were just people. They woke up in the morning and put their sneakers on just like me. There was more we had in common than not. As well as leadership, this applies to the army of people who support an organization — from the office assistants and support staff to the cleaners and catering.
With this in mind, be generous (yet also judicious) in dispensing gratitude. Be bold in recognizing the female executive when she is sitting with a group of men. Be gracious in thanking the new catering associate who has just made a terrific cup of coffee. Be courageous in acknowledging the many parties who worked to provide complimentary period products.
Lesson 2: Everyone else is not like you
During a team-building session, my boss and his nine direct reports all completed DISC assessments — an assessment of how one’s personality translates in the workplace. As I read through my report, I commented to my husband that it would be pretty funny when it turned out that our whole team shared the same traits.
I was so confident of this that I was the first to volunteer to read my report (which might say more about my “classification” than my confidence). The moderator charted my location on a flipchart at the front of the room. As my colleagues’ “work-style types” were charted on the same flipchart, it was revealed that I was alone in my quadrant, and six of my 10 colleagues were in the opposite quadrant — meaning our work relationships should be challenging.
I learned that day I had a strong consensus bias, but it took an international move for me to understand that everyone else is not just like me. Sometimes I made assumptions that may have affected people’s futures. Sometimes, I had to adapt to my colleagues; sometimes, they had to adapt to me. As I adjusted, I learned that I could not control others’ behavior, so I always tried to question, explain and understand to make sure people felt included and my intentions, expectations and motivations were clear.
Lesson 3: Get involved and meet your colleagues
In 11 years, I might have worked with 1,100 people, or I might have worked with 11,000; the truth is probably somewhere in between. In a group of this size, it is not a surprise that I would find people with whom I shared common interests and make some life-long friends.
Your future friends may not always reveal themselves to you during the workday. Yes, I worked directly with some friends, but others were only distant work connections. I made some friends through shared workouts, passions and ERGs (employee resource groups). Admittedly, sharing cultural traditions and cues with other Americans as an expat also helped build a community of friends.
I could have been better. I would wave to and even chat with people, but I did not know their names. At a certain point, too much time would have passed, and I would feel too awkward to introduce myself. There were others whom I assumed forgot who I was or whom I would not want to connect with on LinkedIn out of some inexplicable fear of rejection.
Take advantage of the fact that you are surrounded (virtually or personally) every day by a community of people with whom you share at least one thing — your employer.
Lesson 4: Don’t try to fit in
Like most young professionals, I agonized over the outfit I would wear on my first day of work. I thought I was coming from one business-casual environment to another; I did not realize that business-casual in a New York agency is not the same as business-casual in a suburban Massachusetts sportswear company. I showed up for the first day of work in dress pants, a sweater set and high heels.
That day, my boss introduced me to a senior executive, who started our conversation by asking if I even owned a pair of sneakers. It did not matter that I had a closet full of sneakers at home; I felt out-of-place, and it took me a while to feel like I had reached a place where that leader trusted and respected me.
I have met many people who feel that they do not “fit” in their current work environment. For me, that is exactly the point. Companies are made of individuals, and the best results come when we harness their unique talents, not when we make them conform. We can expect people to maintain consistent standards of behavior, adhere to certain processes and follow some common tenets in the workplace — but is that different from our expectations for any functioning society?
To paraphrase Krys Burnette, be a culture add, not just a culture fit.
Lesson 5: Lift others
I have been a part of too many conversations where people — myself included — have cut others down. As a woman in a traditionally male-oriented industry, my experience is biased; my network is heavily dominated by women.
In many organizations, there are limited senior roles, and it can feel that many are fighting among themselves for a limited number of chances — a feeling that is only heightened among women. We also seem to hold other women — especially senior women — to higher standards than their male colleagues. These two elements are surely related: when a woman breaks through to the higher echelons, she represents all women. We perceive her behavior, carriage, and success — or failures — as standing for all women.
Instead, what we should do is champion the people around us, whether they are senior leaders or new hires. We should speak up to stop the backstabbing and share positive stories instead. We should sponsor, mentor and support our colleagues to ensure they are set up to achieve the best results. Everyone does deserve to have a support system to help them achieve their best. Not only will they benefit, but the business will as well.
Lesson 6: Say yes to — and ask for — opportunities
I always wanted to live overseas. When the opportunity came, my husband and I had just bought an apartment. It might not have been the right time, but there never is a perfect time, so I said yes.
A few months later, a colleague’s baby was born the night before a big presentation. Someone suggested I give the presentation in his place. I was not ready, but I realized that this would demonstrate more about my character and ambition than my understanding of the content.
I had transformative experiences every time I said yes. I wish I had asked for the opportunities rather than waited for them to be presented to me. Looking back, opportunities formed whenever I communicated what I wanted. Understand what you want (from a professional and personal perspective), be clear about what that is, and if you can, take the opportunities when they are presented.
Lesson 7: Find your useful way to collect feedback
The “feedback culture” has become a workplace phenomenon, and there are elements of it that are an improvement from my early career when I would receive check-the-box feedback once a year at a performance review.
Today we feel compelled to give and ask for feedback after every presentation or meeting, but somehow we still fail to communicate in a way that helps employees improve their overall performance. I know many leaders who believe they have communicated performance issues, yet their employees are surprised by a negative result when the performance review comes.
I have been the employee on the other side of that conversation. I received good feedback when I asked targeted questions like, “People tell me I’m too nice. Why do you think they think this, and what do you think?” I received great feedback when I asked the questions I was afraid to get the answers to. I received even better feedback when I asked these questions to people I had challenging working relationships with.
I fared the best when I worked to understand the feedback and determine which pieces I could take on while staying true to myself.
Lesson 8: “How’s business?”
A few years ago, I talked to a senior executive and told him how I had been convinced for years that I wasn’t important enough for him to know who I was. In my perception, he was busy and important, and I shouldn’t bother him because I couldn’t add anything that would help him.
It turned out that it was an unfair assessment of my contribution to the organization and of his interest in people. Had I approached him earlier, our workplace relationship could have been very different.
Even as I grew in my career, I would struggle with how to approach senior executives. I would often see them, sitting alone in the morning, and realize this was a great opportunity to introduce myself to them — but I could not think of what I would say that would be of interest to them. I have talked about this with other women, and we have remarked that it is much more natural for us to connect on the personal topics.
A friend passed along a gem recently, one I wish I had learned years ago. For those of us who are unsure of how to connect with others in the workplace, start a conversation with, “How’s business?” Compared to more generic greetings, “How’s business?” roots every conversation in the professional rather than personal sphere.
Lesson 9: Know your value
For some people, work is a job; for others, it is a career. In either case, there is an exchange every day: the employee completes tasks and delivers work, and the employer compensates the employee.
As an employee, one is a rare resource, not because of the current labor shortage, but because each employee is unique and can bring something different to the team. As a rare resource, employees deliver value to the organization. The key is defining that value for oneself, ensuring it marries with the organization’s goals and expectations and making sure you can communicate that value and purpose in one concise, jargon-free sentence.
Why is the company paying you? What changes will occur because you were on the payroll? Beyond your job description, why are you here? Would your colleagues agree, or do their perceptions differ?
Once you have defined your value, do exactly that — value it.
Understand what your motivations are, and determine whether the company you are working for is meeting those needs.
Lesson 10: Be grateful for what you have or change it
Every organization has its own degree of bureaucracy, hierarchy or processes; these are required to help the organization function.
Sometimes, this may directly impact your life as an employee by dictating your salary, adding to your workload or limiting the nature of the work you want to do.
When this happens, it’s easy to become disgruntled, or more commonly, to complain. Complaining is perhaps the only contagion that people love because we find solidarity in our suffering. It is much easier to join in when others are complaining — which is sometimes needed — than to counter complaints with benefits. Yet each company has its benefits. If you are unsure, talk to someone who has just joined. They will talk excitedly about why they are there, share their ambitions, and perhaps inspire you to remember how you felt when you joined.
Recapture that feeling as much as you can, and if you cannot find it, follow the advice of one of my friends: “You are not a tree. You can move.”
Lesson 11: You can make an impact
With processes, hierarchy and bureaucracy, it can be easy to feel like a small player — a component of a larger integrated system. It can seem hard, if not impossible, to be someone who drives change.
Change does not always come with a capital “C”. Sometimes, change can be influencing a colleague’s perspective. Sometimes, change can be having an idea, building allies in support, and rolling it out as a program, product, or process. Sometimes, change can be giving an opportunity you had in the past to someone new, helping them grow and develop (and helping yourself to let go).
Throughout your career, these small changes can create a big impact. Recognize and celebrate the changes you help effect and reflect on them at regular intervals. Maybe the impact is not felt across the organization, maybe it is not felt immediately, but these lowercase-c changes do add up over time.
In the end, one lesson outweighs them all.
Even in business, the people are more important than the business.
